


Silence, you errant, dread-bolted maggot-pie!

by Hazellum



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: High School, If You Squint - Freeform, References to Shakespeare, Screenplay/Script Format, Shakespearean Insults, ZADE, ZADF, ZaDr, got insulted, just wanted to do a improv excercise, this poor teacher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:21:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28981785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazellum/pseuds/Hazellum
Summary: This poor teacher just wanted them to do a improv exercise. She underestimated the insult power of these two himbos.
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





	Silence, you errant, dread-bolted maggot-pie!

#  Int. Drama Class - Just Before Lunch

{TEACHER} stands at front of class, finishing a lesson. Dib and Zim sit in their seats, making faces at each other. Miscellaneous classmates sit around them, bored.

TEACHER

Now, before we leave for lunch, I think a small improv excersize using some of the insults we just went over is in order. Do I have any volunteers? ( _ looks over class, sees Dib and Zim, still making faces) _ Dib, Zim! Why don’t you come up front?

DIB

( _ shrugs, grins _ ) Sure, ma’am. Hey Zim, why don’t we make a show of it?

ZIM

( _ Laughs, nods) _ When don’t we? ( _ both go up front to the teacher _ )

TEACHER

Now, make sure to use the insults we were ju-

ZIM

( _ interrupts _ ) Silence, you errant, dread-bolted maggot-pie! ( _ cackles _ ) You have made the fatal error of giving ME, the AMAZING ZIM, free reign to insult my rival!

TEACHER

( _ pinches bridge of nose _ ) This might have been a mistake.

DIB

That it was! ( _ turns to face Zim _ ) Now, stand ready, you mammering, fool-born gudgeon!

ZIM

Prepare for your demise, infectious, earth-vexing VASSAL that you are!

DIB & ZIM

( _ at the same time _ ) I won’t be bested by you, you jarring, guts-griping harpy!

CLASSMATE

( _ raises hand _ ) Miss, aren’t they getting a bit carried away?

DIB & ZIM

( _ Turn torwards their classmate, both grinning evilly. Begin speaking in quick seccesion _ )

  
  


DIB

You puny, ill-nurtured lout,

ZIM

You unmuzzled, rough-hewn pigeon-egg,

DIB

Simply because you can’t take two steps without tripping over your own feet

ZIM

And you can never hit first chair in the school orchestra, even though both your parents perform in the Sydney Opera House

DIB & ZIM

( _ laughing, speaking at the same time _ ) Doesn’t mean you get to interrupt our fun, you pribbling, idle-headed horn-beast

  
  
( _ bell rings, ending class. CLASSMATE jumps from their seat and runs away crying. Dib and Zim grin at each other, proud of a job well done _ )


End file.
